I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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