What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
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