Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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