he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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