Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
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