Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
ttyl tear gas
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
