I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
