She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
