I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
