No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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