I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
