I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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