I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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