I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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