hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
