Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
