Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
