If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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