Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
