hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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