Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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