discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
