And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
