Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I wear drunk well.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
