...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
