he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
