She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
