WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
well most of my day revolves around power hour
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
