Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
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