i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
