Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize