still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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