uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
