I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
