I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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