hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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