no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Found your dick twin last night
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
