dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
