I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
