i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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