I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.