Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
