I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
