I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
