bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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