I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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