You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
