Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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