matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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