Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
