I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
