kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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