I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
