Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
