its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
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Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
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EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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