so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
