I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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