I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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