my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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