I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
