My friends, they love my intelligence
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
