i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out