I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.