Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb

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(480): View more from Arizona

he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.

(847): View more from Illinois

It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(607): View more from New York

you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship

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(410): View more from Maryland

holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again

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(630): View more from Illinois

how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend

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(304): View more from West Virginia

All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success

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(727): View more from Florida

You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"

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