just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
worst night to have a conscience
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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