Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
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He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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