I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My dick has a subreddit
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
