if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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